Chapter 32 begins with Nicca trying to make Merry wet. Or as it’s described in the book “work me wet”. Galen’s still doing the mouth thing too.

He put his hands on the floor just past my head, so that he could move his hips as if he were making love to my mouth. And it was making love, not a pounding, but a caress of muscled velvet sliding between my lips, a sweet, hard weight that made me open my mouth wide to him, so that he could glide every inch from the smooth head to the end of the shaft where it met his body. Except we never got that far.

Galen is being purposefully gentle with Merry and it’s pissing her off. Galen is just not that into rough. Merry tries to ease his fears, and says one of the most disturbing things I think she’s ever said in these books:

“You don’t have to be rough tonight, just give me the length of you. Let me feel you in my mouth all the way down to your balls. I want all of you in me in every conceivable way. If there’s an opening that can hold you, I want it.”

Galen is still hesitant, and again with the whining. He’s worried the reason that Merry wants him orally is because she doesn’t want him as king, which, like, what normal dude whines about getting oral?

Merry tells him that she loves him, and that when she saw him lying in the hall, injured, her heart dropped in fear because she worried she’d never see his smile again. Either way, Galen isn’t about to have sex with Merry because he doesn’t want to risk the chance of becoming king, when he knows he’s a weakness to Merry.

The rest of the chapter is just Nicca instructing Galen how to position his body for Nicca’s view. Merry says that she’ll need a pillow, and KITTO FUCKING VOLUNTEERS. He went from being the one who got some oral sex, to being replaced completely by Galen, to being MERRY’S PILLOW WHILE MERRY FUCKS TWO OTHER DUDES.

So, that settled, Nicca gets back to it, but Merry realizes Galen isn’t in position. I guess he’s… waiting? He’s going to wait for a turn with Merry and Kitto? I don’t even know what’s going on anymore. The chapter ends with Merry not really caring either because Nicca gets right back to ‘doing oral sex’ on Merry.

*This chapter was so pointless.

*The last 5 chapters were pointless.

Chapter 33

Chapter 33 starts post-Merry orgasm and Nicca is all proud of himself. He says he’s never talked to Biddy about sex, so he doesn’t know if she’ll allow him to do that to her. Which, first off, you were just paired with her a few hours ago, and since then you’ve been running around all willy-nilly, when are you supposed to talk to Biddy about sex? And secondly, the only time women ever say they don’t like oral is when they’ve been with people who cannot perform. No girl is going to turn it down normally. It’s just that so many dudes suck at it.

Sorry dudes. Get better.

Then Nicca tells Merry to “Kiss me, take the sweet taste of you from my mouth” and that’s just a gross way to phrase that. Also of course Merry’s magical faerie vag tastes clean and fresh. I know she just recently bathed, but with all the sex and blood and gore Merry experiences on a daily basis, I just imagine her to smell pretty dang foul.

So then they get in position for whatever weird Kitto-pillow sex they’re about to try, and it’s seriously SEVERAL PARAGRAPHS describing how they keep having to reposition to use Kitto properly as a pillow. Seriously??

I wanted not just Kitto’s body, but a very specific part, to be my pillow.

Yeah.

Merry keeps fiddling with her “pillow” and they warn her that if she keeps doing that, Kitto’s going to go before everyone else. Like it’s so fucking important that everyone comes at exactly the same time.

Eventually they get going, with Merry laying on Kitto, Galen shoving his cock in her mouth, and Nicca working at the magic-vag. Since Galen is coming at her from the most awkward position, he’s essentially in control of fucking her mouth, so she’s just laying there for the ride. Merry is all focused on her breathing and swallowing, which to me just sounds like she’s more focused on the details than the experience, but whatever.

Then there’s more talk about Merry’s wetness.

Nicca pushed himself against my opening. He slid himself in slowly, one inch at a time. His voice came hoarse. “So wet.” Galen hesitated with his body plunged deep inside my throat. “Nicca, hurry, Goddess, hurry.” He drew himself upward, and I had to take an almost gasping breath at the farthest edge of his stroke. Nicca plunged himself inside me all at once, using the wetness that he’d made. “Consort, but I love it when she feels like this,” he said. “Like what?” Galen asked. “Tight and wet.”

So while Galen is fucking Merry’s mouth, and Nicca is fucking Merry’s vagina, Kitto starts fucking her hair. He almost starts ear-fucking her, but instead settles on a spot right between your throat and your ear, and just keeps plunging away. Eventually they of course all magically orgasm at the same exact time.

Our bodies seemed to breathe in, and as we did, our glows all went dark, so that for an instant the room was in utter darkness. Then it was as if the entire world let out a collective breath that was warm and heavy and full of pleasure. That breath spread outward from us, so that we all glowed as if our skin could not hold such light, such warmth. We all screamed that pleasure, and the light burst out from us so that our eyes were dazzled and blinded by it. A tremendous crashing filled that light, a thunderous sound that shook the floor beneath me, and thrummed along my bones like the very walls of the sithen had convulsed with us.

Doyle and the other guards burst into the room to investigate what happened, assuming that Merry’s under attack. Nope! Just their magical thunder cum. Anyway, the magic of their sex had turned the bathroom into a cave full of stone with a small garden inside. There’s a dry pool in the middle of the garden

They see something in Merry’s hair, and at first she assumes it’s just Kitto’s leftovers, but it’s not. It’s leaves. Mistletoe is entwined in her hair, which apparently was once known as “the seed of the god”. Sure it is.

The chapter then ends with Merry and her guard going to check on the demi-fey, since there was apparently injuries when the wooden door to the bathroom burst from its hinges as the bathroom converted itself into a magical garden.