Old Crappy Poetry Ripe for Mocking

I was inspired to go searching for some old crappy writing I did back in the early 2000s and somehow managed to find them. So, here they are for your reading please. Please mock them relentlessly. They come from the mind of a very bored 18-20 year old who listened to far too much nu-metal back then.

I’m so ashamed of myself for that.

Broken Heart’s Social Club

A collective gathering of a sort
A collective gathering of the same
The Broken Heart’s Social Club
Requires only that you were claimed

No one cares what you look like
No one cares how you feel
It’s just a room full of people
Going through the same ordeal

A shoulder to cry on, a comforting voice
None of which you will find there
It’s just a room full of people
Full of people who do not care

It’s the Broken Heart’s Social Club
A mere oddity of a name
For once you enter there
You’ll find that no one came

The room is cold and dark and gray
A lonely chair sits dead center
The door locks from outside
Leaving you your only mentor

A dim bulb hangs from above
Sits above for perfect measure
Reminding you you’re all alone
Slowly stripping away your pleasure

The Broken Heart’s Social Club
Rips forever like a knife
You will find that one you’re there
You’re a member for life.


Eris threw a fit
When the Golden Invitation
Never hit her step.
She liked revenge.
She made a Golden Apple
With the indentation ‘K’
And tossed it to the Gods.
She liked revenge.
And when that Golden Apple
Landed on the floor
The Gods took notice
Of that perfect Golden Apple
And the indentation ‘K’
At once three saw it
Aphrodite, Hera, and Athena
And at once three wanted it
But Zeus was wary
And took precautions
“Paris” he boomed
With his mighty voice
“Choose the one
You deem worthy
Of this Apple.”
Paris chose beauty
Over brains and strength
And with that decision
Began the Trojan War.
She liked revenge.


Clouds appear to be
Soft and fluffy
As if you could fall
The moment you hit one
If you stepped on a
You’d most likely
Fall and

Welcome to Insanity

Welcome to Insanity
A place you’ll never leave
It will chew you up
And spit you out
It likes to see you bleed.

Welcome to Conformity
A place where you aren’t whole
It removes clarity
And takes away reason
It likes to steal your soul.

Welcome to Desperation
A place where there’s no hope
It fills you with false sensation
And throws you in the dirt
It likes to make you cope.

Welcome to Emotion
A place where you’re in flux
It fucks with your head
And leave you in more pain
It likes to bring you vex.

Welcome to Void
A place where you are hollow
It takes you from Emotion
And leaves you blank
It likes to make you wallow.

Welcome to Ignorance
A place where you are dull
It makes you look uninformed
And ultimately naïve
It likes to leave you null.

Welcome to Insanity
A place where you’re in strife
Its sucked you dry
And made you unfinished
It has taken your life.


Once a great Dragon ruled the land
Ruling far and wide
Colored in vibrant blues and greens and violets
And, no matter the peaceful colors,
He ruled with terror and fear.
A Princess he did capture
And held her locked in his lair
Deep and dark, filled with demons
Demons of sorrow and longing and despair
The Princess did weep for rescue.
Then one day, a Prince did appear
To slay the beast of Fear
And with a swing of his mighty Sword
The Dragon’s neck was slit
Expelling its life over the land.
With the Dragon Dead, to the lair he fled
To save the trapped Princess Murdered the guards, climbed up the stairs
And the Princess he did save
And to another Land did take.
The Peasants did rejoice
Their land was free once again
“Hurrah hurrah” they all did shout
As the Demons died as well
The Villiage beautiful once again.
And the Princess did love her Prince
Loved forever and evermore
Her life complete, the binds broken
And all the Dragon’s scars
Became a shooting Star.


Another word for which I hurt.
Teasing my mind with its
one-syllable monotony.
It swirls my tongue into odd shapes
and sounds,
Spurting obscenities from its origin.
Hiding away in its dark hole,
Fearing joy and excitement,
its only remedies.
The grisly healing from which
it runs.
Always in the back of my mind,
Never fading.
Tucked away in its oubliette.

O Elijah

cold to common touch you walk amongst the calm conquering with only your silent gaze
strike the fear into hearts of
stone while screaming battle
cries to your unenlightened heaven
Heathen! all cry; you enter their
place, their God Almighty
You reign supreme
feasting mighty to overcome all will perish at your arrival
O Elijah
Long are the days you used
to touch as friend, now as enemy
Beckon with will fierce and
burn the doctrine all have read
Glowing eyes strong stare into the
now emptied hearts of who used
to be, who used to laugh and dance
You stole all and locked into
black box miles below
Renounce your common being and cast
her aside, you have and always
kept with words penned not
by the mouth which read
O Elijah
No heart inside yet such sorrow
your eyes die intent in pain
to banish your friends and
entertain your foes, foolish leader
You shall be taught again
to reach higher and out
to all who do worship
your reddened path
vowing never to become yet weak with delight, confused
You compel and that I
shall accept as finality
to lead you away and in to
the brightest of times
Just take my hand.


The deafening barking brought
to my ear was nearly drowned
out by the villain attacking the shore.
I watched from atop high cliffs
and still felt the freezing causalities
of the battle below.
With another tuneful crash I turned
my attention to the rocks stuck
unwillingly in the midst of the misty war
and the prisoners placed upon them.
Each strike struck strong fear inside
and their wails wrought worry upon my face.
I cried out when one fell, fell fast, fell free.
It hit the surface hard but survived! swimming
away from its strong guarded prison.
Others also noticed its escape and leaped
from the rocks, freeing themselves from this war.
This daily war of tide versus shore

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