Chapter 28 begins with Merry and Galen finally getting into the bathtub to clean off the hours old blood and gore that covered them. Merry realizes that the water is still quite hot, so she compliments Kitto on anticipating that they’d take a while to get into the water after it was done being drawn. This causes him to get super sad and mopey because why not fill the time before an obvious sex scene with a sad whiney Dobby-lookalike.

This isn’t how Kitto is described as looking, but you’ll never keep me from picturing him like this. It makes the story super gross.

Even though the power of Merry’s magical vagina turned Kitto into a pure sidhe, he’s sad that others won’t ever view him as lesser.

“They said that I would never be anything but a filthy goblin. That only a whore would share her bed with me.” He looked up then, and his face was so hurt, so confused. “I didn’t think any fey called another whore. It is not our way.”

So to ease Kitto’s pain, they all say that anyone who talks like that is JUST JEALOUS of Kitto. Galen tells Kitto that because he’s the first non-sidhe to be brought into power in centuries, everyone is just jealous and afraid of what that means. Galen explaining this surprises Merry. She didn’t think Galen had the political wherewithal to understand this. Merry is constantly downplaying Galen throughout this entire series. She, and everyone else, are always surprised when Galen is the first to understand or explain anything, because for all intents and purposes, he’s just a sweet ol’ nice boy.

Merry realizing that she underestimates Galen causes her to start crying now, because we all know a good cry before sex is always awesome.

Kitto then tells them that he overheard some of Cel’s supporters saying that they don’t believe anyone of Andais’s line could ever bring life back to faerie. The people who said this then saw Kitto, and were about to attack, but King Sholto of the Sluagh came into the hall and so they scattered. Sholto had been injured, with his arm in a sling. Merry wonders why, if Sholto were there, hadn’t he come to the throne room.

Kitto continues crybabying about how he’s a liability to Merry and any who care for him.

“One of the sidhe today said something, like he knew. He said I’d always been small, too small to be a real goblin, too small to be a sidhe, to small to be anything but a burden and a danger to those around me.” Kitto looked up at me. “I didn’t think any sidhe visited the goblin mounds except for your father, and you. How did he know?”

I wanted to say that the sidhe in question had guessed. Had simply looked at Kitto’s small size and used it to be cruel. That he hadn’t known Kitto’s background, but only made an educated guess. But would it be more cruel to tell Kitto that his past was so obvious that a stranger could see it written on his body, or to let him believe that history was known for certain by sidhe who dealt with the goblins more than they should?

Galen decided for me. “They didn’t know, Kitto, they just guessed. They were being mean. That’s all. They didn’t know that what they said would hit so close to the truth.”

“Guess?” Kitto said, looking at him. “Guess? They guessed? How? How could they know? How?” He gripped Galen’s hand with his smaller ones. “Is my shame written across my body? Is it that easy to see that I am weak? That I am a burden to those around me? I am a danger to you even.” He reached out to me then, gripping my hand so tight it almost hurt. “If I got you with child, they would never accept me as king, or you as queen. The two sidhe lords said they’d see you dead before they’d let a goblin-sided sidhe sit on the Unseelie throne.”

None of this is even remotely surprising or entertaining. It’s just more boring whine-slog to get through before a sex scene. I hate these books so much for this crap.

Anyway, the chapter ends with Galen basically inviting Kitto to join in on their sexy time as a means of apology. Ughhh.

Sometimes sex isn’t even about sex among us. Sometimes it’s just the last resort for making someone smile.

Ughhhhhhh.