COOL. IT’S A KITTO SEX SCENE. MY FAVORITE.
So the chapter begins with Kitto straddling Merry as they sit on the bed. Merry is groping his ass and kissing him all over his face, mouth, neck, etc. She’s caressing all up and down his rainbow-colored scaly back and while she knows Kitto is enjoying it, he’s still not glowing. Creeda starts chanting “Make him glow! Make him glow” which makes Kitto totally stop everything, foreplay over. His dick is instantly limp.
Merry turns to Kurag and tells him she didn’t know that Kitto had ever been one of Creeda’s pet. Kurag tells her that he never was her pet.
I patted Kitto’s back and wasn’t sure I believed him, but I couldn’t think of a good reason for him to lie. “Then I don’t understand his level of fear around her.”
“Creeda, like most of our women, is eager to try a goblin who is also sidhe. He will have his choice of females at the banquet.” Kurag didn’t look particularly happy about it, and I wasn’t exactly sure why, but it didn’t matter, not really.
“Goblins will rape an enemy, or a prisoner, but they do not rape each other,” I said.
“Creeda, like most of our women, is eager to try a goblin who is also sidhe. He will have his choice of females at the banquet.” Kurag didn’t look particularly happy about it, and I wasn’t exactly sure why, but it didn’t matter, not really.
“Goblins will rape an enemy, or a prisoner, but they do not rape each other,” I said.
What is it with LKH’s obsession with rape. Also, yet again, we have Merry lecturing a race of fey on their race’s specifics. Doing that in real life would get you fucking shot, or at least incredibly ridiculed by myself on tumblr. It’s not cute when you do it, Merry. You come off as a fucking know-it-all, and not in the charming Hermione Granger way.
Anyway, Kurag uses Merry’s rape talk to mock Rhys by telling Merry that “your pale prince know just well what we do to prisoners”. And Rhys actually tells Kurag that he now knows how ignorant and naïve he was in regards to the goblin culture around sex. That it was his error that caused his disfigurement, and that he was a fool, which impresses Kurag, as it’s rare for a sidhe to admit he is a fool. Rhys then tells him he has learned to negotiate all sex with the goblins, and that includes negotiating what Kitto will or will not do when they visit the goblin sithen.
Creeda then hisses “I will have him” and starts leaning toward the glass. Merry tells Kurag to control his queen, and instead Kurag says that Creeda is just one of hundreds of goblin females who want to fuck Kitto now that he’s sidhe. Kurag tells them that he can make Kitto do whatever he wants Kitto to do, as he is Kitto’s king still.
“Kurag,” I said, and when those nearly orange eyes were upon me, I continued. “I know your laws. You do not rape your own people, not unless they have broken some law and you have deemed it fit punishment for the crime.”
“There is one exception to the rule, Merry.”
I must have looked as puzzled as I felt. “I know of no exception to this rule.” Silently, I thought, Except that to refuse your ruler is a dangerous thing.
“I thought your father made sure you were versed in our ways.”
“So did I,” I said, “but you do not force yourself on each other; there’s no need. There is always some willing partner close at hand.”
“But if one of us sells his body for safety and shelter, then he gives up the right to refuse his body to anyone. Only his protector can dictate who can touch him, and who cannot.”
I was still frowning.
Kurag sighed. “Merry, did you not wonder how I was so sure Kitto would go with you, and do what you wanted?”
I thought about that, then answered, “No, if our queen had bid one of her guard go with me and do what I wanted, he’d have done it. It’s not our law, but it’s unhealthy to refuse the queen. I assumed that it was the same with your people.”
“I gave you Kitto because I knew his protector had grown tired of him. We are a hard people, Merry, but I had no desire to watch Kitto be torn apart if he could not find someone to take him in. A good king watches of all his people.”
“There is one exception to the rule, Merry.”
I must have looked as puzzled as I felt. “I know of no exception to this rule.” Silently, I thought, Except that to refuse your ruler is a dangerous thing.
“I thought your father made sure you were versed in our ways.”
“So did I,” I said, “but you do not force yourself on each other; there’s no need. There is always some willing partner close at hand.”
“But if one of us sells his body for safety and shelter, then he gives up the right to refuse his body to anyone. Only his protector can dictate who can touch him, and who cannot.”
I was still frowning.
Kurag sighed. “Merry, did you not wonder how I was so sure Kitto would go with you, and do what you wanted?”
I thought about that, then answered, “No, if our queen had bid one of her guard go with me and do what I wanted, he’d have done it. It’s not our law, but it’s unhealthy to refuse the queen. I assumed that it was the same with your people.”
“I gave you Kitto because I knew his protector had grown tired of him. We are a hard people, Merry, but I had no desire to watch Kitto be torn apart if he could not find someone to take him in. A good king watches of all his people.”
So, wait. Kitto is a SEX SLAVE and was given to Merry as such? THIS MAKES HIS CHILD-LIKENESS SO MUCH WORSE. SO SO SO MUCH WORSE.
“But there is always sex among the goblins. Don’t most goblins think that one sexual partner is much like another?”
Kurag shrugged. “All goblins are voracious lovers, Merry, but it is the addition of more tender meat to ours that has given rise to trullups. Those who cannot protect themselves, and have no other skills to offer. They are not craftsmen; they do not make anything, or sell anything. They have only one skill, so we allow them to trade that skill for what they need.”
Kurag shrugged. “All goblins are voracious lovers, Merry, but it is the addition of more tender meat to ours that has given rise to trullups. Those who cannot protect themselves, and have no other skills to offer. They are not craftsmen; they do not make anything, or sell anything. They have only one skill, so we allow them to trade that skill for what they need.”
Ughhhh.
Kurag continues to explain that there aren’t many trullups in the goblin world, but the majority of them are part-sidhe. Except for a few sidhe-sided goblins who are strong. He then motions for someone to join him on screen, and two almost identical looking goblins appear.
At first glance I would have taken them for sidhe, Seelie sidhe. They were both tall, slender, with long yellow hair, and handsome the way that the sidhe sometimes are, with full, generous mouths and a line from brow to cheek to chin that reminded me of Frost. Their skin was that delicate gold the Seelie Court calls sun-kissed. It’s rare among them, unheard of among us. But a second glance and you saw the eyes, too large for the face, oblong like Kitto’s, and a solid color that gave no white to the eye, only a dark round of pupil lost in a sea of green for one, and red for the other. The green was the color of summer grass. The red was the color of holly berries in deep winter.
Kurag introduces them as Holly and Ash, two sidhe/goblins who are powerful. And this is one of my FAVORITE AWFUL NAMING combinations of these books. Holly is the fucking red-eyed, and OF COURSE LKH uses the actual word “holly” to describe them. Hahaha.
Anyway, so Holly is staring at them, glaring like he wants to destroy them. Ash greets Merry and bows, so Holly turns to him and yells at him not to bow to Merry. She is nothing to them and he owes her nothing. Kurag takes insult at this and rushes toward Holly, who goes to pull his knife from his belt but hesitates – if he were to pull the knife from his belt and draw it on Kurag, Kurag could take it as a mortal insult and they would duel to the death. Merry sees Holly hesitate, confused as to what he should do, but then he leaves the belt alone, and Kurag knocks him to the ground, telling him that he is king and he is to be obeyed.
Holly smeared the blood from his chin onto his sleeve and spoke, still sitting on the ground. “We are not trullups. We have done nothing by our laws that enables you to send us to her bed, to anyone’s bed. We need no protectors for our flesh.” He coughed and spat blood on the floor. It was an insult among the goblins, wasting blood. He should have drunk it. “We have proven ourselves as goblins first, and sidhe not at all, yet you would trade us away to this pale sidhe. We have done nothing to deserve this.”
Kurag continues to advance on Holly, and Merry notices Ash making some weird movements behind him. Doyle tells Kurag that they do not want to make this any worse by having reluctant lovers sent to Merry’s bed. Merry continues to watch Ash do… something, and then decides to tell Kurag that she will not bed Holly if he does not want to be sidhe.
To which Ash replies that he does wish to be sidhe. He tells them that it is the very first thing that he and his brother have disagreed on in their life. Merry realizes during Ash’s speech that Creeda is now doing something weird around Ash. She’s trying to reach for whatever Ash is holding just out of sight of the mirror. She is about to lunge for it, but Ash reveals his hand is holding nothing at all.
Nothing at all, nothing at all.
Merry asks Ash why Ash would drag his unwilling brother along with him to become sidhe, and Ash responds that he wills it so. This makes Merry realizes that Ash is definitely part-sidhe, at least in arrogance and attitude. Holly starts pleading with Ash to not make him do this, that they are goblin and that is better than sidhe. Ash stops him, telling Holly that they are very strong goblins, but imagine how much stronger they would be with their sidhe-powers.
Holly is not excited by this, and continues to plead with his brother. Holly is angry that his sidhe-mother or sidhe-father, whoever it was, left them to die at the hands of the goblins. Ash responds that Merry is not one of the sidhe who left them to die. They are Unseelie sidhe, and it was the Seelie who left them to die. Holly looks like he’s about to start crying, and then tells them that he doesn’t believe that Kitto can really shine like a sidhe.
So we FINALLY get back to the whole point of this chapter: proving Kitto is now true sidhe and has true sidhe-powers. Thank fuck.
Merry asks Kurag to guarantee that when the visit the goblin sithen, Kitto will not be harmed or treated like a piece of meat by any goblin who desires him. Holly steps in and argues against this, saying that if Kurag grants Kitto that, all trullups will want that too, and that is not something the goblins can afford to give. Kurag agrees with Holly.
I frowned at them, then said, “I am his lover. Does that make me his protector?”
Kurag looked like he wasn’t sure what to say. Ash shook his head and said, “She doesn’t understand what she’s asking.”
Kurag looked at Doyle. “Darkness, the princess is sidhe, but she is not you, or even the pale prince. She has not the strength of arm to withstand every goblin who will want to taste Kitto.”
“She has spoken,” Holly said. “She is his protector, let it stand.”
“Yes,” Creeda said, “let me be the first to fight her when she comes. I will have Kitto, and if I get to cut that pure flesh, so much better.”
I knew then I’d misspoken, but wasn’t sure how to undo it.
Kurag looked like he wasn’t sure what to say. Ash shook his head and said, “She doesn’t understand what she’s asking.”
Kurag looked at Doyle. “Darkness, the princess is sidhe, but she is not you, or even the pale prince. She has not the strength of arm to withstand every goblin who will want to taste Kitto.”
“She has spoken,” Holly said. “She is his protector, let it stand.”
“Yes,” Creeda said, “let me be the first to fight her when she comes. I will have Kitto, and if I get to cut that pure flesh, so much better.”
I knew then I’d misspoken, but wasn’t sure how to undo it.
Haha, good one, Merry. Way to offer something you have no idea you can even do.
Doyle then tells Kurag that they will not allow Merry to even visit the goblin sithen if there is a chance she will spend the night fighting duels. Kurag agrees with this, but he also agrees with Holly that he cannot afford to grant Kitto the safety Merry desires for him. Kurag isn’t sure what to do – He knows Merry wouldn’t survive the night if she were dueling, and he knows he cannot grant Kitto any safety.
So finally Rhys steps in and announces that they will all be Kitto’s protector. What a touching moment. Rhys getting over his issues and basically announcing that Kitto is now his brother. Awwwww. It’d be so touching if this wasn’t such a long, aggravating chapter. I’d almost rather this have been a chapter full of Merry and Kitto fucking. I’m so sick of all the talking, and I’m only 4 chapters in. Ugh.
“Kitto is sidhe,” Rhys said in a flat voice, “so say I.”
“So mote it be,” Doyle said.
There was a ringing in the air, not of actual bells or anything you could hear with your ears, but the words had weight and reverberated through the room. Kurag’s face showed that he sensed it, too. Something important had happened. Something fated, some piece of prophecy had either begun or been changed so completely that the fates of all had changed in that moment. You can feel the weight of it, but you never truly know what it means, not until it’s too late to do anything to change it. It could be days, or years, before we knew what had happened in those few words.
“So mote it be,” Doyle said.
There was a ringing in the air, not of actual bells or anything you could hear with your ears, but the words had weight and reverberated through the room. Kurag’s face showed that he sensed it, too. Something important had happened. Something fated, some piece of prophecy had either begun or been changed so completely that the fates of all had changed in that moment. You can feel the weight of it, but you never truly know what it means, not until it’s too late to do anything to change it. It could be days, or years, before we knew what had happened in those few words.
Cool. So with this stupid prophecy, the chapter ends, right?
HA HA HA.
So there’s this sound off-camera or screen or whatever you could call a mirror-call, and Merry notices that both Kitto and Rhys go pale and she can feel the tension and fear through the air. Kurag tells whatever made the noise that he didn’t call for it yet, and then there’s a loud, high, metallic hissing noise. Whatever it is making the hissing speaks in a hideous snake-voice.
“You wanted to show me off, didn’t you Kurag? Show the princesssss that not all are asss ssidhe ass Holly and Asshh.”
“Yes,” Kurag said, and turned to the mirror. “Know this, Merry: Not all sidhe-sides have taken after their sidhe parentage. Before you agree to this, you should see what will come to your bed.” He looked at Rhys now, but that teasing edge was gone. “And not all our half-breeds are male.”
“Yes,” Kurag said, and turned to the mirror. “Know this, Merry: Not all sidhe-sides have taken after their sidhe parentage. Before you agree to this, you should see what will come to your bed.” He looked at Rhys now, but that teasing edge was gone. “And not all our half-breeds are male.”
Rhys starts pleading with Kurag to not do this, and Kitto starts basically shaking and making this horrible high pitched noise out of fear. Then this thing comes slithering onto the screen, and Rhys says her name, “Siun”.
The chapter ends with Kitto beginning to scream.
Trailer Park of Emotion 