Chapter 13 begins with Merry asking Maeve what she requires of her. Maeve does the stupid fucking sidhe “I have told you what I would have of you, Meredith.” NO YOU DIDN’T. You’re being stupid and subtle and stupid. I have absolutely no patience for this level of subtlety and I hate this so much. I hope you all appreciate how much this is torturing me to read and review.
Merry is all “I don’t know how I can help you” and Maeve asks Merry to send her bodyguards away, so they can discuss it further. Doyle won’t let Merry out of his sight, Merry doesn’t want to let Maeve try her magic on her again, blah blah blah. There’s like a full page of this back and forth we’ve ALREADY DISCUSSED IN THE LAST CHAPTER and Maeve eventually offers Merry another drink. When Merry declines, Maeve realizes that Merry fears she may have placed a spell upon or poisoned the beverages, so Maeve gives her oath that she did not.
Merry asks her to give her oath that she and her guards will not come to any harm of any kind while in Maeve’s presence, and Maeve refuses to give that oath. They bicker again, because of course, but eventually Maeve agrees that Merry and Co will come to no harm while they are with Maeve this day. Maeve announces that she would not have made that oath had Merry left off the “while you are here” bit of the bargain, as had Maeve just made an oath to protect Merry and Co, she would have been responsible for all their safety forever, even when at the Unseelie Court. She does not believe the Unseelie Court is safe, as she has heard of the debaucheries that occur there. Merry tries to convince her that the Unseelie Court is full of light and laughter and sexy, sexy happenings, but Maeve will have none of that.
Remember LIGHT IS GOOD, DARK IS BAD in this world, or so the light, Seelie Court believes. Casual racism, much?
Merry looks around the outside area and notices that Rhys is flirting with Maeve’s assistant, Marie. Merry first worries that perhaps Rhys and Marie had sex, as Marie’s hair was a bit messed up, but she didn’t look happy. Merry knew that had Marie and Rhys had sex, Marie’s face would look quite pleased, as Rhys would never take pleasure without making sure the woman was pleased first.
I tried to be hurt, jealous, or even miffed that he might have been playing slap and tickle with Marie, but I just wasn’t. Maybe it was because I was sleeping with the other men. Maybe to be truly jealous you have to have some pretense of monogamy. I didn’t know why, but it simply didn’t bother me. If he’d had intercourse with her, that would have bothered me, because I was the one that we needed pregnant, not some assistant to some star. Other than that, I didn’t seem to care.
Ughhhhh.
Rhys comes over to Merry and tells her that Marie had offered herself to him, and that it would have been rude to ignore such an offer. He asks Merry if she was jealous, and Merry responds that she was not. So Rhys says “I knew you were more fey than human” because this is an intrinsic human trait I guess? Shut up, I hate you so much book.
IT DOESN’T EVEN MATTER because fucking Marie tattles on Rhys to Maeve that he declined her advances. UGHHH. Merry then announces that she’s had enough of Maeve’s games. Maeve tells her that she never meant any offense, but Merry calls bullshit. “You sent your servant to seduce my lover. You tried to seduce me, not out of plain desire, but out of a desire to gain control over me.” SERVANT? What? Seriously?
Maeve again says she was not intending to offend Merry and Co, but Merry won’t let it go. “You have insulted me and mine, “ she tells Maeve.
“You’re Unseelie Court,” she said again.
I shook my head. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“You would not try on the swimsuits,” she said, voice soft, eyes downcast.
“What?” I asked.
“If Marie had seen him nude, then she would have known his body was pure, except for the scars.”
I frowned harder. “What in the name of the Lord and Lady are you babbling about?”
“You are all Unseelie Court, Meredith. I had to be sure you are not… unclean.”
I shook my head. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“You would not try on the swimsuits,” she said, voice soft, eyes downcast.
“What?” I asked.
“If Marie had seen him nude, then she would have known his body was pure, except for the scars.”
I frowned harder. “What in the name of the Lord and Lady are you babbling about?”
“You are all Unseelie Court, Meredith. I had to be sure you are not… unclean.”
OH THAT’S RIGHT, THEM DIRTY DARK COURT FOLKS ARE OBVIOUSLY DEFORMED AND DISEASED. CAN’T SLEEP WITH SOMEONE WHO’S LIKE THAT, CAN WE? This whole scene is so unsettlingly disturbing, and not in the author’s intended way.
Cutesy racism, is that a thing? I think it’s now a thing.
Maeve then divulges her fears to Merry. “If anyone who aids me in such an endeavor is impure, then… “ and Merry finishes her thought, “The child will be deformed.”
HELPS HER HOW? This hasn’t even been answered yet.
Merry turns to her guard and tells them that she is sick of being around Maeve, and Doyle says the most fucking reasonable thing ever “Then we leave.” BUT OH NO, Merry turns back to Maeve and demands that Maeve tell them why she was exiled from the Seelie Court. If Maeve will not, then Merry walks away and will absolutely not assist Maeve in whatever Maeve has planned. Maeve refuses, saying she fears what Taranis will do if he finds out that she told them his secret, and Merry gets all ranty.
“The great pure Seelie Court, how they look down on us. If a child is born deformed, then it is killed, or was, until you all stopped having children. Then even the monsters were precious. Do you know what happened to the babies after a while, Maeve? Do you know what happened in the last four hundred years or so to deformed Seelie children? Because, make no mistake, inbreeding catches up, even with the immortal. … My own cousin was kept because she was part brownie. You didn’t throw her out, because brownies are Seelie – not court, but creatures of light. But when the sidhe themselves breed monsters, breed deformities, monstrosities, then what happens, where do they go? … The babies go to the Unseelie Court. We take in the monsters, those pure Seelie monsters. We take them in, because we welcome everyone. No one, no one is turned away from the Unseelie Court, especially not tiny, newborn babies whose only crime was to be born to parents who can’t study a genealogical chart well enough to avoid marrying their own fucking siblings. … I give you my oath that I and Frost and Rhys are pure of body. Does that make it easier? Does that help? If you just wanted to sleep with the men, you wouldn’t have cared if you saw me in a swimsuit, but you did care. You want a fertility rite, Maeve. You need me, and at least one man.”
Merry then again demands that Maeve tell her why she was exiled from the Seelie Court. That Maeve tell them now, or she will walk away and Maeve will never have this opportunity from anyone again. Maeve finally agrees, but only after Merry agrees to help Maeve have a child. Merry refused to agree to that until Maeve swears she will tell them the truth. Maeve wants Merry to swear first. THIS IS HOW THE ENTIRE LAST FEW CHAPTERS HAVE FELT. SHUT UP AND AGREE, JESUS CHRIST.
SO THEY BOTH SWEAR THAT THEY WILL DO THE THING THEY SWEAR TO DO AND THE CHAPTER ENDS AND NOTHING HAS HAPPENED. I HATE THIS BOOK SO MUCH I HATE IT.
I hate this so much. This fucking book. I hate reviewing these CHAPTERS OF FUCKING NOTHING. WHERE IS THE DUMB SEX, I WOULD RATHER REVIEW THAT RIGHT NOW. I would fucking rather read and review 30+ chapters of pure sex than this goddamn drivel ever again. I hate the dialogue in these stories so goddamn much. If I ever meet LKH I am going to punch her in the face.
I SWEAR.
Trailer Park of Emotion 