Chapter 12 begins with Merry and Co exiting the house to find Maeve sitting by her pool. She’s furiously smoking cigarette after cigarette, her glamour back in place like a well-worn shirt. Maeve had insisted that Merry and her guards sit around the pool, in the full, bright sunlight, and Merry has an idea as to why. Superstition had it that Unseelie sidhe could not work their full power in the sun. Merry knew this was untrue, but she had to do whatever she could to get Maeve to trust her enough to tell her why she was invited.
Merry tries to sit on one of the lounge chairs next to Maeve, and finds that she is just too short and is wearing too short of a skirt to sit on it comfortably and without flashing her underwear.
If it had just been other fey, I wouldn’t have cared so much, but with more humans than fey standing around, we’d try to stay polite by human standards. Besides, I’d found years ago that if I let a bunch of strange human men see my underwear, they tended to get the wrong idea. Fey males would have enjoyed the show and never remarked on it
Well, that’s a disgusting thought there. Of course Merry accidentally flashing her undergarmets automatically equals a sexual thing to us silly humans. Of course! Ugh.
Maeve is drinking some Scotch… a lot of Scotch. She had already finished a fifth before Merry and her guards got themselves settled. She offers Merry and co some drinks, but Merry politely declines. Maeve responds that she knows the guards are working, but Merry could easily imbibe with her. Merry again declines, saying doesn’t much care for drinking that early in the day. Maeve laughs – it’s like 4pm or so, not at all early by LA standards, and she says a couple of times “I really do hate to drink alone”, like that’ll do anything.
Merry responds “I’m sure you’ve got a husband around her somewhere.” And Maeve instantly goes hardened, telling Merry that she’d be meeting her husband later when they’ve finished their business. She then asks Merry to have her guards move back a little, for some private girl-talk. Doyle and Co move to a smaller umbrella covered table to give the ladies a little bit of room, well except Kitto who is curled up next to Merry on his own little chair.
Because OF COURSE they’d bring Kitto, tiny terrified Kitto, outside with them into the bright sun. They treat this poor goblin like a fucking tortured child, Jesus.
Eventually, after a bit of bickering and whining, Maeve allows Kitto to remain at Merry’s side. Merry immediately bursts out “The sidhe have been speculating for centuries about why you left us.”
But wait, hadn’t Maeve just been exiled a century ago?
Maeve reminds Merry that she had not left, she had been cast out, to which Merry responds “Your exile was the bogeyman for all the younger sidhe in the Seelie Court. ‘If you don’t please the king, you’ll end as Conchenn did.’” Don’t the sidhe have anything else to be afraid of? The sluagh? Anyone? Bueller?
Merry eventually lets on that when she was a child, the king beat her for inquiring about Maeve’s exile. Merry tells her that anyone who had asked about Maeve at the Seelie Court had been punished, but after the King killed one of Maeve’s biggest allies, the sidhe Emrys, no one bothered asking about her anymore. Until Merry came along, that is. Maeve hadn’t known that her exile had been that much of an issue at court. Well, duh, Maeve. You had been exiled and haven’t so much as seenanother sidhe since you were kicked out. God these sidhe are stupid.
Maeve then calls one of her maids to attend them, and her maid Nancy few bathing suits for Merry to wear. What? Merry worries that Maeve could have placed a spell upon the bathing suits, wondering if perhaps Maeve had made a deal with Merry’s enemies to be able to return to faerie in exchange for Merry’s death.
Merry politely declines changing, telling Maeve she’s comfortable as is, in her hideous Christmassy-green suit (oh, did I not describe that from the first few chapters? SHE’S DRESSED LIKE CHRISTMAS.)
Maeve returns the conversation to her killed ally, Emrys. She says that the king would never order someone as powerful as Emrys killed, and Merry responds that he didn’t order an execution. He personally challenged Emrys to a duel. Maeve is floored at this – Taranis would never risk his own personal well-being on a duel, and Merry swears an oath that what she says is true.
“So, I was right.” Her voice was very soft as she said the last.
“You were right about what?” I asked, voice equally soft. I eased down to the foot of my own lounge chair so she would be sure to hear me.
She smiled then, but it was weak and not at all humorous. “No, you won’t get my secret that easily.”
I frowned, and it was genuine. “ I don’t know what you mean.”
Her voice was more solid, more certain of itself as she spoke. “Why did you come here today, Meredith?”
“You were right about what?” I asked, voice equally soft. I eased down to the foot of my own lounge chair so she would be sure to hear me.
She smiled then, but it was weak and not at all humorous. “No, you won’t get my secret that easily.”
I frowned, and it was genuine. “ I don’t know what you mean.”
Her voice was more solid, more certain of itself as she spoke. “Why did you come here today, Meredith?”
YOU FUCKING INVITED HER THERE, MAEVE, YOU DAFT MORON.
UGH. IT JUST KEEPS GOING. Maeve continues being talky about Taranis, wondering why Merry came when it would have risked Taranis’s anger, and that he will never believe that she never told Merry his secret. What secret, Merry asks, and Maeve is all “I’ll never teeeellll” because this is the worst chapter ever. Merry is sure that Taranis would not risk war between the courts for harming her, but Maeve thinks that is not true –that to prevent his secret from getting out, he’d risk much up to and including all out war.
It then becomes yet another stalemate, as Merry is sure that if Taranis killed her, the Queen would send the sluagh after him. Maeve thinks she’s incorrect. This has been like seven pages of the same sort of merry-go-round of bullshit. I hate this chapter. I hate this chapter. I hate this chapter. Maeve finally announces that she would not risk war between the courts, she would not risk the sluagh being loosed on Taranis, so she finally agrees that Taranis would likely not have Merry killed for meeting with her.
Merry tells Maeve that she wishes to know why Maeve was exiled, and she knows Maeve desires something from her as well. Merry asks her what would be important enough that Maeve would risk her life for, and the chapter FINALLY FUCKING ENDS when Maeve announces that she desires a child.
ARAGGHGHAGHGHGGHGH FUCK THIS BOOK.
I QUIT.
Trailer Park of Emotion 