Chapter 13 begins with the mirror ringing again. I love how the mirror is described as “ringing” like a phone – couldn’t it have done anything more magical? Apparently it’s described as a “clash of swords” but like… programmable ring tones exist? Maybe not make it something so jarring and awful sounding?
Anyway, the gang spends forever trying to move Doyle and Abe out of the room, since Merry’s about to discuss fuckin’ with the goblins, and they don’t want the gobs to know just how injured Doyle is. Which… why haven’t they tried healing him any further? They have healers on staff… Merry can heal with sex… Rhys can do whatever he does… why not just heal him already?
Rhys decides he will stay in the room with Merry and Frost while they discuss the upcoming sexcapades, even though he’s terminally prejudiced against the goblins. Rhys actually says something kinda… nice? to Merry.
“One of these days I’d like you to be able to do things just because you want to do them, not because you’re forced to do them.”
Again, in these books, Rhys usually is the level-headed, reasonable one out of the group. And he’s always super overshadowed by any of the other guards. Rhys is also described as being quite short, just a few inches taller than Merry. I wonder if there’s any correlation?
So they answer the mirror and see Holly and Ash, the two goblin-sidhe halflings who Merry has agreed to try to bring to their full sidhe power through sex as a way to gain more months of alliance with the goblins. They’re pissed off about being made to wait to talk to Merry. They’re pissed that Doyle isn’t with them, as they had originally bargained for Doyle to be there to guard Merry during their fucking. They believe this makes their previous bargain null and void.
Merry has to convince them why she needs guards there – not just to protect Merry from Holly and Ash, but more to protect Merry from herself. Because Merry’s a pain-slut, I guess?
“Lose yourself,” Holly said. “What does that mean?”
“It means that we bargained that you would not do nothing I did not agree to, or ask for. I fear that I may in the heat of the moment ask for things that my body cannot survive.”
Anyway, the chapter ends with Holly straight up asking Merry if she wants him to hurt her, and Merry answers all sultry “Oh yes.”
Barf.
Trailer Park of Emotion 
I’ve forgotten how very boring Hamilton can be. She thinks she’s writing this sexy, edgy stuff, but it’s just dull. By the time she finishes the pre-sex negotiating and whining (and we can’t have sex without whining) I’m all but unconscious.
As far as ring tones go, I like something that’s loud enough to wake me up because I’m a champion sleeper, but not so jarring it scares the crap out of me. I’ve found the first few chords of George Thorogood’s Bad to the Bone is a good ring tone. I share an emergency duty phone with 4 other guys in my agency. Inevitably when it comes my turn to do my week that one of them has it turned to something awful like submarine dive warning. Hear something like that at zero dark thirty and you will wake up with your heart in your throat. I’d imagine the same could be said for waking up to the sound of swords clanging together. Especially in a world where that doesn’t mean someone is playing GOT too loud.
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