Chapter 17 begins with Merry and Amatheon’s clothes falling away from their bodies. Now, I had thought through the entirety of Chapter 16 that they were naked, but guess not! Amatheon lays down on the ground and Merry starts caressing him with her fingertips.

I wrapped my hand around him and squeezed. He cried out. His upper body came up off the ground, and the feel of him in my hand closed my eyes, bowed my back, because he was so much harder than I’d imagined. So hard, so terribly hard, the he felt more like smooth, hard marble, except he was so very warm.

“Oh, don’t, don’t do that, Merry-girl, or I won’t last.”

“So hard,” I said, and my voice sounded breathy and hoarse.

“I know,” he whispered, “too hard. I will not last.”

“Then don’t last,” I said.

He frowned at me, eyes still wild. “What?”

So, as typical in a LKH sex scene, Amatheon starts whining. He’s afraid that if he doesn’t perform well, Merry will never want to fuck him again. Why do all these men whine during, before, or after sex? Why can’t anyone in these books fuck without first vomiting their emotions all over everything? Is LKH really into emotional Roman showers?

He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me in against him. His back was covered in the dry, powdery dirt. I expected it to be rough, but it wasn’t. It was smooth and fine like the softest talcum powder. It did not distract from the warm smoothness of his skin but seemed to add texture like icing spread over warm, rich cake.

LKH is also super into using food analogies in her sex scenes. Anyway this is where the TWO PAGE chapter ends, because nothing is sexier than inconsistent chapter length!

Chapter 18

Chapter 18 begins with Merry and Amatheon rolling in the fucking dirt like they’re a bunch of chinchillas.

I’ve ruined chinchillas for you forever now too. I’m so sorry.

Merry begs Amatheon to fuck her, and Amatheon is just reveling in it. It had been so long, you see, since anyone had begged for him. But he was too worried about the land to continue.

He pressed our hands against his chest and closed his eyes. His breath went out in a long sigh. “The land has been too long untended, Meredith, too long unloved. It fears it is too late and there is no life to awaken.”

“You are the land, Amatheon,” I said, “and you live. Yield to me and I will love you. Please, please, Amatheon, please let me love you.”

“You speak of love so easily, do you mean sex?”

I closed my eyes and laid my forehead against his hands where they still trapped mine.

“I am no longer certain what I mean. I think I would say almost anything, do almost anything, in this moment, if it would make you say yes.”

“Yes to what?” but his voice held that teasing note again.

“Fuck me,” I said, still with my eyes closed, my head pressed against his hands.

Ah, the ol’ “of course I love you” trick! That always gets ‘em!

He used his grip on my wrists to swing me around. He flung me to the ground. I barely caught myself with my hands in the dirt, barely kept my face above the ground. I drew breath to protest, but his weight was suddenly on top of me, pressing me to the ground. He jerked me up on my knees, so that I was on all fours. He shoved himself against my body, I think he meant to shove inside me, but the angle wasn’t quite right. and [sic] he had to use his hands to move my hips ever so slightly. Again I started to say something, but he had his angle, and he shoved himself inside me, as hard and fast as he could. He shoved himself in until his balls smacked against my ass. I screamed, because he was too hard, and the angle was sharp, and I knew that much as I’d begged, if he kept this position, I would be begging him to go before many thrusts. I’d felt men be hard and eager before, but never this hard. So hard, I wondered if I hurt him, too?

People shove rock hard sex toys into them all the time, Merry, I’m sure you’re fine.

I rode him until his hips began to rise and fall with mine. I rode him until his hands convulsed around my breasts and I cried out. I rode him until his body began to lose rhythm, and the earth underneath my knees began to change. I was using the hard surface for my leverage, and suddenly I didn’t have the leverage needed to keep the rhythm I wanted. That was my first hint that the ground was growing soft, and Amatheon was beginning to sink into it.

I hesitated above him, and his hands gripped my waist.

“Don’t stop, Goddess, don’t stop.”

I stopped fighting to use my knees and used my hips instead. I used hips and stomach muscles to move me over and around him as the ground began to sink beneath us. I could no longer keep the tip of him from the end of me, but it didn’t hurt now. Now it was wet and open and ready.

I rode my body over him now, as fast and hard as I could, back and forth, grinding myself against him, over him, around him, over and over and over until his hands convulsed at my waist and he yelled, “Merry, look at me!”

I looked down into his eyes gone wild a second before his body bucked underneath mine, body straining a breath before orgasm caught me. I fought my body, fought not to look away, not to throw my head back, or close my eyes, as the pleasure took me, rolled me, climbed my skin in waves of warmth, convulsed my body around his, until we both cried out while I fought to keep eye contact. Fought to let him watch my frantic eyes, the near pain-filled look in a woman’s face. I gave him all I could for as long as I could, but finally the orgasm was too much and I screamed, full throated, head back, eyes closed. I screamed as he pressed himself inside me, and the earth sank under us like black water.

What.

I felt his body leave me before I opened my eyes and found myself kneeling on the rich black earth. I touched the ground where he had been, and it crumbled, black and moist in my hand.

What.

Merry fucks him so hard he MELTS INTO THE GROUND.

Merry then comes to from this scene with Frost laying on top of her, shielding her from whatever was happening in the hall they had previously stood in. Frost has a gun, and he fires it twice at something, then pulls Merry down the hall to safety.

What I had seen was Crystall with his hands covered in white light, and Adair wading into men, sword already bloody. But that hadn’t been what made me push against Frost’s pinning arm, as he held me against the wall. Galen, lying on the floor, a pool of blood spilling out underneath him. He hadn’t been moving.

So the chapter ends with Merry screaming Galen’s name with worry. What a way to end a sex scene. It’s like when you’re watching a porno and then as you’re about to nut your GRANDMA’S FACE appears on screen as she tries skype-calling you. I get that this is to add to the suspense and drama of it all, but come on, Grandma Cockblock is a bit much.

Also a man just MELTED INTO THE EARTH from the power of FUCKING.